We bring to you, a special edition.
A story from Sweden, of one of the many neurodivergent people who succeeded in life despite the obstacles they faced.
Having a mental disability and being a woman in the current society has been tough for our young friend, but she fought through.
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Instagram- @asperger.student
My condition helped me become who I am today. I always felt special in some way. It was like - I knew my uniqueness had a purpose in this world. But it came with struggles, struggles that made me better and stronger and helped me find my purpose.
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Hi, My name is Vendela, I am 21 years old. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, which is an Autism Spectrum Disorder* when I was seven years old, and here is my story.
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Growing up, I always felt different and misplaced. The social skills didn’t come intuitively to me as they seemed to do for my peers and having to socialize in school and in kindergarten caused a lot of anxiety for me.
Somehow, I just didn’t get it and it and it was draining. I was fortunately blessed with high intelligence and talent.
I harnessed my abilities, learned new languages extremely quickly and I was years ahead in mathematics while also being highly successful in several sports.
But something in my mind was off. This developmental disability in my brain that made me different. That made me weird, strange and a freak.
Just like all girls, I had high expectations on me to be perfect and to be socially successful.
I learned that my condition had to be hidden and masked because for a girl to struggle socially is just not acceptable.
I became the best actress in the world. I watched how the older girls interacted and I copied exactly what they did so I could play the role of “normal”.
This masking and camouflaging process made me lose my true personality and delayed my “finding myself journey” you’re supposed to go through as a child and teenager. And it was exhausting.
Like many girls on the spectrum, I’ve had my long list of mental illnesses. Anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self harm, suicide thoughts and psychosis - these were sacrifices I made in order to fit in and to avoid being bullied.
Thankfully, I’ve always had a lot of support from others. My teachers as well as the student health counselors and psychiatric care helped me with these conditions and I was also provided with the educational support I needed. Thanks to that, I could excel in school.
And thanks to the faith they had in me, I always had faith in myself.
Once I moved out from home and began to study engineering at Lund University, one of the most renowned universities in Europe, my health started to improve.
Living alone and living my life on my own terms doing what I want was the best change that could ever happen in my life. I’ve been taking advantage of many opportunities around me and done so many things.
When I was 19 years old, I started working part time as an SI-leader. I went to high schools in disadvantaged communities to support the students in their math studies. I saw this as a way of giving back for all the help I received in school.
And it turned out I had incredible leadership skills too. After only one semester I was promoted to coach other SI-leaders.
I also got involved as the partner manager of the international organization Nordic-China Startup Forum. I’ve started and worked on several equal treatment projects in my school.
All this while studying at an incredulous speed and being the only student in my class to have passed all exams on the first try.
This summer, I really started reflecting on my life and how I wanted to improve myself further. I believe a good person is someone who can use their talents and abilities to help someone else so I tried to figure out what I was good at and how I could use that to improve the world.
I found that my main talent was the fact that despite a somewhat difficult beginning, I became so successful.
I’ve achieved so many things for a person my age while being mentally disabled and I am proud of myself.
That is why I started an Instagram account (@asperger.student), where I post empowering, optimistic and inspirational posts once a day in order to help other students on the spectrum to become successful in an educational system that’s not designed for them.
I know everybody doesn’t get the same opportunities as I got and I really wish I could do something to change that. But, I don’t have the power to change the legal or educational systems in every country in the world. What I can do is be really grateful for the life I’m living and for all the support I’ve received.
Everyday, I do my best to help other people with similar struggles and inspire them to stand up for themselves and demand the support they need in order to live the lives they deserve.
I want to remind my readers that stars can’t shine without darkness.
I’ve set high goals for myself. I plan to do a PhD in communication technology at some university along the lines of Harvard, MIT, Caltech, UCL or Imperial College. I also want to move to Taiwan or China to work at some successful communication company such as Asus or Huawei or maybe start my own business.
I’m so excited to get to know the person I am behind the mask and to discover all the things she’s able to accomplish.
*Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurological and developmental disorder that begins early in childhood and lasts throughout a person's life. It affects how a person acts and interacts with others, communicates, and learns.
By Vendela Fredman
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